It hurts my heart when women tell me that they would like to try a vibrator during foreplay or sex, but their boyfriends/husbands are against it. What’s even worse is if they have to lie or “hide” the fact that they even own a sex toy in the first place for fear of judgment and disapproval from their partner. If your partner is against you using a sex toy, that says more about their personal insecurity than anything to do with you. Men of the world, please hear me on this matter: the toy, however great it may be, is NOT a replacement for you or your marvelous penis! Nothing can ever replace the warmth of a human body, and the connection, pleasure and intimacy it can bring during sex. The toy (usually a vibrator) is simply an enhancement to the sexual experience. That’s it, an enhancement. Allow me to use a food analogy. You can enjoy a nice juicy burger straight off the grill on its own in the bun; BUT, if you add a little mayo, ketchup, mustard, or whatever condiment you like, it makes the hamburger even tastier right? The same thing goes for using toys in the bedroom.
They are a wonderful and easy way to make sex even more enjoyable, particularly for women. And when the woman is having fun, guess what men? It’s likely this will translate to you having more fun as well! Using toys to enhance sex is a “normal” and common practice for many couples. Let me explain why. The fact is that less than 20% of all women are able to climax through penetration alone. If you remember the next thing I’m about to tell you, it is almost equivalent to you winning the sex lottery, and it will make you a much better lover, so please listen carefully: it’s all about the clitoris (clit). That little pea-sized nub you see on the outside of a woman’s body is just the tip of the iceberg. The majority of the organ is hidden inside the body. Believe it or not, the clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings and is similar to the penis in terms of sensitivity and pleasure; so, do not underestimate or neglect this magical button because there’s a lot more to it than meets the eye! Another fun fact, did you know the clitoris has no biological purpose, other than to provide pleasure? Yup! It’s true, thank you God for that one! So, I reiterate: the use of a vibrator to provide clitoral stimulation is absolutely no reflection on a man’s sexual competency. If anything, his acceptance of sex toys to help his woman climax during sex demonstrates not only maturity and anatomical awareness of the female body, but also care and consideration for his partner.
When the clit is stimulated, chances of the woman reaching orgasm become much greater. There are certain sexual positions that can provide more stimulation to this area, for example, missionary, or amazon and spooning; however, sometimes positions alone are not enough and the use of a vibrator is necessary.
When it comes to vibrators and sex toys in general, there are so many varieties and choices out there, that it can feel intimidating and overwhelming. I would suggest starting off with something small, like a finger vibrator or a bullet. If you are too shy, embarrassed or anxious to go into a sex shop in person, that’s perfectly understandable; don’t worry, there are options for you to shop safely online and get discreet shipping right to your doorstep. I would highly recommend trying www.pinkcherry.ca. Their selection is awesome, you can read customer reviews, and the prices are very affordable. I encourage you to give it a go! You have nothing at all to lose and only pleasure, connection, and happiness to gain.
Challenge yourself and just do it – you’ll be glad you did!
